Imagine:

You're running late for a very important meeting, cursing that you'll never find a parking place, when out of the blue one is open right in front of the building.

Or,

You're thinking that you really, really need to get an appointment with a major client whose calendar is always full when, presto! you run into her at a store you very rarely visit.

Now, you're telling a friend this story, and your friend says, "Wow! Lucky break."

Do you respond:

A. "Lucky? Heck no, it was synchronicity."

B. "Lucky? Nah, it was just a coincidence."

If A, you're a Synchronist. If B, you're a Coincidentalian.

There's been an argument between the Synchronists and the Coincidentalians for a century. It's all about meaning. The Synchronists avow that two events that occur together, however random-seeming, have meaning. The Coincidentalians believe that randomness is meaningless, however much it may personally affect you.

My take is....

...it's the wrong discussion, and a huge waste of energy.

Regardless of whether you're a Synchronist or a Coincidentalian, what would benefit you more is to stop arguing about this, and start thinking about how to clear the way for more such events, whether meaningful or random.

I know, I know, as a Coincidentalian you're thinking, well, I can't control a random event, so nothing I do matters. But what if the mental habit of being open to helpful coincidences sharpens your ability to notice opportunities you'd miss otherwise?

Take the parking place. If you're convinced you'll never get a place and worried about being late, you might completely overlook an empty space because you're glancing at the clock or fuming at the traffic.

Or running into someone in a timely way. If you assume these things are totally random, you're more likely to be checking your phone or mentally scanning your to-do list than keeping an eye out for a delightful surprise encounter.

What if you remember the last time you got a lucky break, and remind yourself that the unexpected gift can happen? Then, whether Synchronist or Coincidentalian, you'll be in a perfect spot to seize that present opportunity.

One of the gifts of doing your mindfulness work like EFT to clear stress, anxiety, old emotional gunk and past trauma out of your system is that once you've reached a crucial tipping point of clearing, positive actions and emotions become much easier.

For me, that comes out as an ability to set my intention and have it carried out-sometimes by my own actions, sometimes through very serendipitous avenues.

This morning was a great example. I got up and did a quick tap intending joy and happiness for the day. Of course, just tapping on that intention made me feel better.

Then I did what I normally do, which is plug into the matrix and log onto to email and the social networks.

It was great to see that a fan of my Facebook page had liked something I shared, and without even thinking I did something I rarely do; I clicked on her name.

There, on her page, was a link to a song on YouTube which sounded interesting. Lots of links look interesting, but usually I don't click through, or I'd never get anything done. But this morning, I did anyway.

And that's how I ended up laughing, dancing and feeling joyous in my office at 8 AM, moving to the infectious beat of Chanda Mama as done by Playing for Change.

Enjoy!

This past week i had the joy and privilege of giving an Intro to EFT session to the staff of a health-related non-profit.  Over 80 staff members were in the room for their regular staff meeting.  The Executive Director is a very open-minded person who likes to introduce her staff to various modalities for wellness.

It seemed to me at first that the group was tentative about EFT, although most of them followed along and tapped,  But as they began to experience the shifts and learn more, the enthusiasm built and the questions flowed and so did the ideas for applying it to their everyday lives.

Someone asked about using it for finding lost things and I shared my dad's experience with doing so successfully.  This woman shared that she had "hidden" a pair of favorite earrings in her house and could not find them no matter how hard she tried. 

I commiserated and we laughed about how when you're looking for something, you keep looking in the same four or five places over and over as if expecting the item to turn up as if by magic.  And yet that action also illustrates how our anxiety over what's lost limits our mental and emotional flexibility.

We discussed ideas on how to best accomplish finding the lost earrings with EFT, including the all-important tapping away the emotions that are standing in the way of the mind recovering information it wants to know.

I was so delighted to get an email from her the next day:

Last night I began the search [for the earrings] again, (in all the same places, expecting different results!). I knew they had to be in my closet but nothing. I even looked in empty shoe boxes on the floor after pulling clothes off the shelves.

I decided to stop, eat dinner and relax. About 9 pm I went into the bedroom and did the tap exercise. Nothing!! No visions of the earrings, etc. But instead of blowing it off, I decided to relax and finish the TV show. I fell asleep.

At 10:30 I went into the closet and put the clothes back on the shelf and straightened the shoe boxes on the floor. I moved a long dress to put the boxes and there was a SHINY, BRIGHT YELLOW medium gift bag!! Inches away from where I had looked earlier in the evening.

In the bag were the missing earrings, plus another pair she'd forgotten about.

Her story illustrates a key thing about tapping--frequently, the results come in a roundabout way. It's not that she tapped and a message arrived in her mental inbox with the exact location of the earrings.

Instead, "something" prompted her to go back in and straighten the clothes. In a seemingly unrelated act, the thing she was looking for came to her. I believe this is how the mind works for us.

So it is with many things when we use tapping to clear the way. They may be material things we're missing or they may be ideas, solutions, or simply peace of mind about something that we've been wrestling with mentally or emotionally.  But we tap, and we open the path for them to come.  Try it yourself!

The very well-developed body of work on positivity influences all of us.  From the days of The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale, to today's Law of Attraction, we're all encouraged to keep things positive.  Positive thought, positive attitudes, sending out only positive vibrations to the world.

If you don't feel it, well, fake it til you make it.

Therefore, many people who investigate EFT are surprised to find that we, um...well....dare we even say this?...we openly address our negative thoughts.

To me, this is one of the most powerful aspects of EFT.  I'm a big proponent of positive thinking, but--and this is the catch, there's frequently a "but".  We can say, I'm confident and calm! in the mirror, and so often, there's another little voice inside that says, No, you're not, you never have been.  The louder you try to be with your positive affirmation, the more insistent and persuasive the little negative voice becomes.

"Happiness is not the absence of sadness," says David Spiegel, MD, medical director of the Center for Integrative Medicine at Stanford University School of Medicine. By suppressing sadness, you suppress other, more positive emotions, as well, he says, so people who try to suppress emotions actually become more anxious and depressed.

EFT recognizes this fact.  And it starts out by letting the little voice have its say in the set-up statement, such as, "Even though I'm terrified of making this presentation to the team next week...".  Then, it turns that "negative" on its head by closing out the set-up statement with a real one-two punch:  "I completely love and accept myself."  Take that, negative thought!

So, if you've tried many positive thinking methods and are feeling a bit stuck, why not try out EFT to see if you can calm that little voice and get it on your side?

How about you?  I'd love to hear stories of the methods you've used to overcome the nagging negativity that almost all of us carry.

On my Facebook page I invited folks to give me a watchword for 2012, something to delight and inspire them.  Live, Believe, Family to Love, and Freedom were offered.

For fun, I crafted a New Year's tapping phrase and affirmation incorporating these words:

"Even though I don't know what the year ahead will bring, and the year just past had its ups and downs, I choose to be inspired by Life, to Believe, to appreciate my Family to Love, to embrace Freedom and I deeply and completely accept myself."

I suggest using this phrase, or any uplifting phrase that resonates with you, at least once a day in front of a mirror, for 30 days.  Tap while watching yourself in the mirror, using these points:  Eyebrow, Side of Eye, Under Eye, Under Nose, Under Lip, Collarbone, Under Arm and Top of Head.  

Another alternative is to use the side of the hand Karate Chop point to say the full phrase, and then just one of the four words on each point you tap.  Add your own positive watchwords too. 

Make note for yourself what happens as a result.  Do you find negative emotions shifting?  Are you feeling more relaxed?  What about sleeping better?  More optimism? 

Comment here or on my Tap Into Yourself Facebook page and let everyone know how the New Year's Tap has affected you!